Wise Situational Reactions

I'm not taking credit for these great words of wisdom in reacting to others diplomatically when we're in certain situations, as much as I wish I could. Alamak! Don't blame me if anything exciting arises from your thoughtful words!

Alan, a buddy I got to know on the net sent this to me:

Somebody is very tall.

* "Do you play basketball?"
* "Oh sorry, I thought you were a lightpost."
* "How's the weather up there?"

Somebody is very short.

* "Where's the circus?"
* "Da plane! Da plane!" (I recall this was the famous 1980's romantic Fantasy Island line by the dwarfish star of the show in the opening scene)
* "How's the weather down there?"

Somebody stumbles.

* "Walk much?"
* "First day on your new feet?"
* "How's the weather down there?"

Somebody burps.

* "Really?"
* "Well put."
* "Did you get any on you?"
* "Just as good the second time?"

Somebody hurts himself.

* "That's gotta hurt!"
* "That's going to leave a mark."
* "You're going to feel that tomorrow."

Somebody says something untrue.

* "Bzzt, wrong answer. Thanks for playing."

Somebody says, "You can say that again."

* (repeat what you just said)
* "That again."