Perfect Husband, Imperfect Wife

Here's the perfect husband at home -without beating around the bush too much about it as a many a wife is prone to do so-doing a fantastic superb job.... Gee, whiz-that wife of his sure needs help!!!






Here are those words of wisdom from husbands about wives from hell...and they are here courtesy of a lady friend, Ijau...

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
DavidBissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?"
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Hahaha-So Funny!

Thanks my dear Ijau for this funny masterpiece!

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*A letter of Husband to Wife:*

Dear Sweetheart,

I can't send my salary this month, so I am sending 100 kisses...
You are my sweetheart.
Your husband
Allen.

*His Wife replied back after some days to her Husband:*

Dearest sweetheart,

Thanks for your 100 kisses, I am sending the expenses details.

1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.

2. The electricity man only agreed after 7 kisses.

3. Your house owner is coming every day and taking two or three kisses instead of the rent.

4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only, so I have given him some other items.....

5. Other expenses 40 kisses

Please don't worry for me, I have a remaining balance of 35 kisses and I
hope I can complete the month using this balance.

Shall I plan same way for next months, Please Advise!!!

Your Sweet Heart.