'Hum Sup' Malaysian Humor

I confess that I have been quite ignorant of the sense of humor amongst Malaysians, especially those of the fairer sex. I didn't search for the light and find it ... the light in the guiding hand of a female found me!

Here's a saucy extract of a conversation between two Malaysian women. I'm not disclosing who wrote it or where it's found. I might do so if 50 votes are cast in favor of disclosure!

Before proceeding with the hilarious Malaysian original humor, I want to say that I'm not a sex addict like Michael Douglas who went to Sex Addict Anonymous for help. I just believe sex is good clean fun that God has made for us as a gift to enjoy. I have seen how many persons of different faiths act as hypocrites in publicly condemning, assaulting or persecuting others on moral issues and yet in their private lives are worst in what they do during sex!

Here is the extract...

Two married women talking on MSN.

Woman #1 : i cook dinner jor. waiting lk come back. sked sked mah, must serve properly

Woman #2 : better feed nice nice and full full. if not eat at yilai’s place

Woman #1 : yalor yalor, i told my lk i want to ask the csl wife, what she cooks for him. 61 still going strong, iLike. That time I am 57 liao. LOL.

Woman #2 : wear see thru lingerie whilst serving hoh

Woman #1 : Yayaya, wear Y-shape, crotchless panties. Nay…like those paid posts we wrote? Somemore, hor, sek jor, do on dining table thimmmm.

Woman #2 : eat abalone

Woman #1 : and sausage

And hor, I think all these Wanita movements and their basket weaving, songket making, line dancing and other classes not applicable in this age already. They must go hire some of those Pattaya Tiger Show (since Rose Chan is dead) girls and conduct courses on opening cork. C O R K of the bottle lah! And teach what what eat lollipop and eat icecream skills lah. You say correct or not?

Wa mui lu ai mai nia…..Hahahahaha. Someone kill me already! But when you put two married women together, we have to bitch. Otherwise, how you think we make moolahs all day long and fook si lou kong all night long wor plus jaga anak-anak 24/7 and our dozens of blogs all year long?

Tiu lor, Yahoo labelled my site under pornography. Muahahahar….I am bad.

The Wise Heavenly Judge would say...

You, the inhumane hypocrites who decide on the faith of a person and put her to the extreme cruelty of separation from her legal spouse and child, you have made a mockery of the undeniable human rights of all civilized people in this world through your barbaric stone age actions; you have not respected the universal declaration of human rights of which secular multi-racial Malaysia is a signatory to. Moreover, you have dishonored both God and Humankind by attempting the satanic sin of playing God by your false cowardly deceitful behavior in having her kept under your torture and imprisonment in a so-called rehabilitation camp for six long months and her legal husband was not even permitted to be with her.

I note you have persisted in your persecution of this poor woman and even today, you have the impertinence to force her to stay apart from her legal husband and the once happy family is still separated by you unloving non-compassionate evil-doers.

I also note that she has remained strong in her Hindu faith.

I therefore sentence you to purgatory. May your unrepentant souls rest in peace for all the pain and suffering you caused Revathi and all human beings who do not believe in your religion.

I'M AN APOSTATE...

WANNA DETAIN ME TOO, YOU COWARDLY INHUMAN WEIRD HYPOCRITES???

Dramatic Spiderman!

I know, I know...I'm a wee past the age of believing in these guys but I'm thinking of the youths who may wander into my blog.

Don't we wanna be Spiderman, especially if we're small in society? Two personalities... bespectacled weak, square bookworm Peter who can become a powerful disguised superhero fighting for truth and justice in the world against all the baddies.

Just to let you young adults of legal age know I'm really open-minded about Spiderman and other topics...I hate wet blankets, kill-joys or whatever names we can have for some of these nincompoops in institutions, particularly the ones who are extremely sensitive, forever pretending to be high moralists! They're the hypocrites who say, "This is good-you can see, hear or read it; this is bad for you-you can't see, hear or read this."

So we should say: Right- it's just a kiss on television. So much ado about nothing... making a mountain out of a molehill... Everyone kisses, except the censors, of course, whose self- inhibitions, desperately requiring psychiatrists, are a curse for the general populace. They, and those who appoint them should be uninhibited, free-thinking modern progressive individuals.

Just limit the guidelines for ordinary media control to this: Absolutely no extreme sexual violence, no child pornography and no racism in any form and means. Everything else should be okay with ratings such as a PG for Parental Guidance as is done in the West. Maybe this will lessen the many cases of incest endemic to a particular race in certain Third World countries with ridiculously extreme censorship practices.

Looking at some of these censors, sooner or later, it's possible you may either see some, if not all of these moralistic people, or read about them in either the papers or biographies about them or autobiographies by them confessing about their lives as hypocrites-whoring, womanising, cheating, lying, stealing, killing, wife-beating ... worse than the ordinary Joe...you get the general idea.

In truth, we're all hypocrites but some are just bigger ones than others in this world. Hmmmnnnnnn...this does seem like George Orwell's "All men are equal but some are more equal than others" theme...