It wasn't too long ago that I had a high fever. As I rested in a most uncomfortable way and my delirious mind wandered ... something gave me a throbbing headache ... for some unexplainable strange reason, the title of a movie I once saw in Canada kept bothering me. This was Zorba the Greek. It was a classic Oscar-award winning performance by Anthony Quinn as Zorba.
It was a movie about self-discovery, learning and wisdom.
The following quotation and thoughts are those of Zorba's boss while he is with Zorba somewhat close towards the end of the story, which is somewhat rather philosophical and just great food for thought!
"We are little grubs, Zorba, minute grubs on the small leaf of a tremendous tree. The small leaf is the earth. The other leaves are the stars that you see moving at night. We make our way on this little leaf examining it anxiously and carefully. We smell it; it smells good or bad to us. We taste it and find it eatable. We beat on it and it cries out like a living thing.
"Some men -- the more intrepid ones -- reach the edge of the leaf. From there we stretch out, gazing into chaos. We tremble. We guess what a frightening abyss lies beneath us. In the distance we can hear the noise of the other leaves of the tremendous tree, we feel the sap rising from the root of our leaf and our hearts swell. Bent thus over the awe-inspiring abyss, with all our bodies and all our souls, we tremble with terror. From that moment begins…"
"I stopped. I wanted to say "from that moment begins poetry," but Zorba would not have understood. I stopped.
"'What begins'? asked Zorba's anxious voice. 'Why did you stop'?
"…begins the great danger, Zorba. Some grow dizzy and delirious, others are afraid; they try to find an answer to strengthen their hearts, and they say: 'God'! Others again, from the edge of the leaf, look over the precipice calmly and bravely and say: 'I like it.'!
I'm taking a break with the ghost series as it seems that there's a ghost preventing me from sharing it at this late hour. In the meantime, I do have something...
Here's some healthy piece of advice which I hope will be of great assistance to all of you mother-in-laws. I do not claim to be the intelligent composer of it; it comes from someone by the name of Shu Mei. Here is what she wrote:
I have a lesson or two from a very dear friend of mine. Through her I learn to see from her eyes and even though I am in the so-called 'daughter-in-law' group, I learnt to be less harsh on the older, 'mother-in-law' of the society.
My friend has come to live with her only son and daughter-in-law after she lost her husband of many years. Her loss is unbearable and she is still suffering an emptiness of heart. Though she has in a way 'lost' her son and 'found' him again, it could never fill the vacuum. Her son has his own life to live and that she accepted readily and philosophically.
Lesson one from her: Never be shocked by what your son or daughter-in-law do, and keep quiet all the time if necessary. If your son drinks beer from cans, and his friends play mahjong the whole night through, let them have their fun and keep a low profile.
Lesson two: Don't ever interfere with your daughter-in-law's choice or taste. She may be ultra-modern or old-fashioned, just beam at the clothes your grandchildren wear and tell them to be neat and presentable, that's all. Do not go and say, "in my days, I dressed up my children...". You'll upset the whole household by commenting too much.
Lesson three: Do not ever mention an incident more than once. She told me that once her granddaughter broke her bottle of hair oil, and she just quietly mentioned that to her daughter-in-law, who reasonably replaced the bottle. As she never mentioned it again, her daughter-in-law was very grateful and her grand-daughter later became the most filial of the brood.
Lesson four: Give your son and daughter-in-law a break once in a while. Tell them that you wouldn't mind staying at home and mind the children while they go off on an evening out. Your over-worked daughter-in-law would be most delighted at your kindness and naturally this is not too difficult to do.
Lesson five: Remember you are living with your son and you should not control him in any way. He is no longer a little boy whom you have to look after and guide in the best of your ability. As a grown man, he needs self-respect and he needs to make up his own mind. If you keep your wisdom to yourself, you may be in less awkward situations.
I can see that this wise lady has a fine philosophy of fine living. Such finer qualities can seldom be found unless we train ourselves for a long time. And I hope that my younger friends and I too will grow to be understanding mother-in-laws like her in the years to come.
