For those of us who have kids, we can be amazed to hear some of the most unexpected things they could say and there is often a glimmer of innocent truth in their responses. Thank you, Ijau for this contribution. It's always appreciated! I really had some good laughs.
7 reasons not to mess with children.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted,
"Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE . God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
It doesn't matter how many people you send this to, just remember if it made you laugh, your friends will laugh too.
Showing posts with label wise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wise. Show all posts
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Monday, November 5, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
How to be a Wise Mother-in-law
I'm taking a break with the ghost series as it seems that there's a ghost preventing me from sharing it at this late hour. In the meantime, I do have something...
Here's some healthy piece of advice which I hope will be of great assistance to all of you mother-in-laws. I do not claim to be the intelligent composer of it; it comes from someone by the name of Shu Mei. Here is what she wrote:
I have a lesson or two from a very dear friend of mine. Through her I learn to see from her eyes and even though I am in the so-called 'daughter-in-law' group, I learnt to be less harsh on the older, 'mother-in-law' of the society.
My friend has come to live with her only son and daughter-in-law after she lost her husband of many years. Her loss is unbearable and she is still suffering an emptiness of heart. Though she has in a way 'lost' her son and 'found' him again, it could never fill the vacuum. Her son has his own life to live and that she accepted readily and philosophically.
Lesson one from her: Never be shocked by what your son or daughter-in-law do, and keep quiet all the time if necessary. If your son drinks beer from cans, and his friends play mahjong the whole night through, let them have their fun and keep a low profile.
Lesson two: Don't ever interfere with your daughter-in-law's choice or taste. She may be ultra-modern or old-fashioned, just beam at the clothes your grandchildren wear and tell them to be neat and presentable, that's all. Do not go and say, "in my days, I dressed up my children...". You'll upset the whole household by commenting too much.
Lesson three: Do not ever mention an incident more than once. She told me that once her granddaughter broke her bottle of hair oil, and she just quietly mentioned that to her daughter-in-law, who reasonably replaced the bottle. As she never mentioned it again, her daughter-in-law was very grateful and her grand-daughter later became the most filial of the brood.
Lesson four: Give your son and daughter-in-law a break once in a while. Tell them that you wouldn't mind staying at home and mind the children while they go off on an evening out. Your over-worked daughter-in-law would be most delighted at your kindness and naturally this is not too difficult to do.
Lesson five: Remember you are living with your son and you should not control him in any way. He is no longer a little boy whom you have to look after and guide in the best of your ability. As a grown man, he needs self-respect and he needs to make up his own mind. If you keep your wisdom to yourself, you may be in less awkward situations.
I can see that this wise lady has a fine philosophy of fine living. Such finer qualities can seldom be found unless we train ourselves for a long time. And I hope that my younger friends and I too will grow to be understanding mother-in-laws like her in the years to come.
Here's some healthy piece of advice which I hope will be of great assistance to all of you mother-in-laws. I do not claim to be the intelligent composer of it; it comes from someone by the name of Shu Mei. Here is what she wrote:
I have a lesson or two from a very dear friend of mine. Through her I learn to see from her eyes and even though I am in the so-called 'daughter-in-law' group, I learnt to be less harsh on the older, 'mother-in-law' of the society.
My friend has come to live with her only son and daughter-in-law after she lost her husband of many years. Her loss is unbearable and she is still suffering an emptiness of heart. Though she has in a way 'lost' her son and 'found' him again, it could never fill the vacuum. Her son has his own life to live and that she accepted readily and philosophically.
Lesson one from her: Never be shocked by what your son or daughter-in-law do, and keep quiet all the time if necessary. If your son drinks beer from cans, and his friends play mahjong the whole night through, let them have their fun and keep a low profile.
Lesson two: Don't ever interfere with your daughter-in-law's choice or taste. She may be ultra-modern or old-fashioned, just beam at the clothes your grandchildren wear and tell them to be neat and presentable, that's all. Do not go and say, "in my days, I dressed up my children...". You'll upset the whole household by commenting too much.
Lesson three: Do not ever mention an incident more than once. She told me that once her granddaughter broke her bottle of hair oil, and she just quietly mentioned that to her daughter-in-law, who reasonably replaced the bottle. As she never mentioned it again, her daughter-in-law was very grateful and her grand-daughter later became the most filial of the brood.
Lesson four: Give your son and daughter-in-law a break once in a while. Tell them that you wouldn't mind staying at home and mind the children while they go off on an evening out. Your over-worked daughter-in-law would be most delighted at your kindness and naturally this is not too difficult to do.
Lesson five: Remember you are living with your son and you should not control him in any way. He is no longer a little boy whom you have to look after and guide in the best of your ability. As a grown man, he needs self-respect and he needs to make up his own mind. If you keep your wisdom to yourself, you may be in less awkward situations.
I can see that this wise lady has a fine philosophy of fine living. Such finer qualities can seldom be found unless we train ourselves for a long time. And I hope that my younger friends and I too will grow to be understanding mother-in-laws like her in the years to come.
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